Are you Selling yourself Short?

Sorry?
“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”       Nelson Mandela

This particular post was inspired by women. We have some uncanny traits in common that can essentially hold us back in areas where we should be moving forward. We say sorry for things we did not do or that do not require an apology. We feel responsibility for things that we are not responsible for. We harbour unnecessary guilt and many of us, one might say far too many of us, have a bad habit of down playing who we are so as to accommodate other’s egos. We feel that dumbing it down in some areas fights against the glass ceiling  or stops us from being perceived as “bitches” especially those of us who would rather be valued as a lady. My reminder this week is completely dedicated to being all of you, kind of like the John Legend song but not really.

Let me explain. The belief exist that we are all created for a particular purpose and it is because of this that I had the epiphany that we have all got to stop “dumbing it down”.  Here are are some very realistic reasons as to why:

  • People usually make up in their minds at a very early stage whether or not they like you. Do you want people to appreciate you for some overly censored version of who you used to be or for who you are at the core? If they can’t take you for you then maybe you shouldn’t be that concerned about them. Granted time and place count and we can’t just go around exhibiting all of who we are all the time , we both know that there is a difference between completely loosing yourself in the hopes of making everyone else feel more at ease and understanding appropriate behaviours .
  • People’s views of you are often a reflection of their view of themselves. Sometimes you are simply the manifestation of all that person may want to be and though it is great to be humble you have to be aware that everyone does not process life in the same way. In no uncertain terms some people are jealous of you and you being nice or trying to appease them is probably not going to rid them of the ugly green monster. I am afraid that that is actually a matter for them to deal with and not for you.
  • You might be too concerned with the wrong things. Ever heard that we ought to focus on that which we wish to achieve as opposed to focusing on what we do not want to achieve. What is your real desire … to be liked or to be a person of good character. A lot of times we find ourselves playing small because on a greater scale we want to be good people and we feel that minimising or capabilities will somehow assist in this particular desire. Here’s a newsflash for you my darlings, Being good isn’t always about being nice. Focus on being a person of good character and being reasonable, people will always have opinions it does not mean their opinions are always rational or hold truth.
  • Ever realise how some people aren’t really that “nice” and people still love them? Perhaps its because they are authentic. When you are constantly trying to hide who we are, something probably won’t seem right. Why is that? Simply put, it’s because something isn’t right. We are not being us and we are not being honest. Certainly our dishonesty is not based in any malicious intent but it’s still not our truth.

We each have your individual purpose so why do we trying to hide behind a cloak to cushion the pain of another’s insecurity? While we hide ourselves we hinder and hurt ourselves also because it does not seem likely that any human could truly thrive while constantly playing a game of hide and seek with their own self. Selling yourself short is exhausting and unfair not just to you but also to others. You know how hard you have worked and you know what you are capable of there is no need to feel guilty about these things. We all have 24 hours in a day and we all, to an extent, have a chance to do whatever we see fit. This week do yourself and your company, family or whatever matters to you, a favour- DO YOU! You might just like it and hey they might even love it. I’d love to hear your thoughts and even more reasons why we shouldn’t sell ourselves short. Let’s chat in the comments below.

Be You2

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Photography – Adrian Richards

Dress- ASOS

Shoes – Metal Boutique

Cocktail Rings – Tropicana Jewellers

2 thoughts on “Are you Selling yourself Short?

  1. ” we ought to focus on that which we wish to achieve as opposed to focusing on what we do not want to achieve. ” That right there is ALL I need to say and I think it goes beyond just focusing on friendships but boy does it matter when you are trying to establish yourself financially, physically, academically…Until you understand this you’re pretty much stuck.

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