I remember this day vividly. Khalil and I set out to shoot and all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball in my bed and hug my most plush pillow. I felt pretty horrible that day but I was on a mission to feel better and do whatever I needed to to kick the funk I’d been in for a number of months.
I felt like I was in a deep hole full of de-motivation and that I didn’t even have the capacity to dig myself out, mostly because I’m really bad being sick and feeling unproductive. I was feeling sad and I am convinced that psychological sadness really has a negative impact on our physical health and the last thing I wanted was to feel any worse than I had already been feeling.
My determination began to fester up inside of me and I was certain the I could not possibly continue at the rate I was simply existing at. It’s too important to me to live, rather than feeling like I’m simply existing.
While I missed blogging, I simply wasn’t in the mood to nor did I have the energy to do much of anything. Nonetheless, I did my makeup packed my clothes in my car and set out to find graffiti ridden walls and cobblestones structures to act as the perfect backdrop to get myself back in action.
You see I’m the kind of person who often believes that there is always a way- a way to change your energy and shift that which we’d rather not be surrounded by, a way to find joy amidst the madness and a way to shoot for my blog when I feel like triple hell death. I felt like my blog was a great place to start and that creativity, as crazy as it may sound, has healing powers. Simply put I was on a mad mission to get back to the lifeI love to live.
I was so aware of the physical changes in my body that I knew I had to change my mind, in order to alter how I was feeling. Often if we seek to change our mindset, our reality begins to change too.
Incidentally, here’s the backstory – December rolled around and I had been trying my best to put in a great deal of work and fulfill personal financial goals. I had been giving my job my all and barely taking time for myself. Essentially I found myself so burnt out and what I thought was a common cold spiraled into a series of not so pleasant events.
I decided to sign myself a 30 day Gratitude Challenge and I have to admit, even I was a tad apprehensive as to whether or not it would really make a change. I started out anyway on my 30 day challenge and a daily observations for reasons for gratitude. I’m uber forgetful so naturally, I missed a few days but I’m not cheating I will fulfill all 30 days as I’m still on my journey. The 30 day period is up and though, I didn’t remember to document everyday I did remember to be grateful every single day. Much to my surprise I found myself feeling differently than I did before and for me this was the whole point of what I sought to do.
So funny story… It worked! Things began to slowly evolve. My lack of inspiration began to transition into into motivation, not only for myself but I was also inspired to share with others.
-I felt a lot less fearful.
-I found so much more value in the experience rather than just the end goal.
-I also found myself being open to new experiences in a way in which I had never been before.
-I became more productive as I became more grateful.
My “cheesy” little experiment worked! I have been really looking forward, not only to where life will take me, but also to being more present in each moment and using what I have in front of me right now, in the present, to the best of my ability . I am now convinced that gratitude really does CHANGE EVERYTHING!
I learnt that essentially, nothing beats a try, because what happens when we open ourselves to something , is that we create a space for the ripple effects of that action. My life has began to evolve in ways that are so beautiful and I believe that it is perhaps because I found joy in my ‘little bit’ which then created a space to create my ‘a lot’.
Subsequently, when we plant seeds of gratitude we find ourselves creating a new reality. It is almost as if magic begins to happen and new opportunities simply begin to reveal themselves sometimes in ways we could never have imagined. I have always been a grateful person but, like anyone I have had my intense seasons of discouragement and heartache and I have to say that there have been times when those tough seasons really got the best of me. This past season however, was not about to take me for all I had to give and while i didn’t feel amazing initially I sought to get back to where I envisioned I could be little by little until it became the norm.
Life will not always be a bed of roses, however I am learning that we can shape whether or not it is a bed of thorns. It’s all in our approach. Some things are beyond our control, in fact most things are beyond our control- essentially, what we can control is OURSELVES. When life gives you lemons make like Beyonce and create an entire lemonade album. Seek not to aimlessly let your brain control you, but rather, take some level of control and awareness over your mind. Our capacity to create a different reality lies greatly within US. The choice is ours.
Hugs and Love People
…and click here to check out my latest project #WakeUpToWisdom – on my Instastories
Jacket – Vintage
Cropped Tee – Atelier by Gigi
Belt – Moschino
Mom Jeans – Topshop
Velvet Purse – Stacy Stuart Lifestyle
Shoes – Ruff and Tuff Boutique
Photography – Khalil Goodman
-Creative Direction –
Khalil Goodman & Gigi Farier