“Be Brave Enough to Start a Conversation That Matters’ – This quote has occupied my mind for the last week. So much of what we see and hear these days is fickle and lacks substance. I recently embarked on a VLOG project called #WakeUpToWisdom also known as #WUW via my Instagram where I post daily about various elements of life and my humble two cents. I love the engagement being created as a result of it all because it reminds me that we are a whole lot more human than we might allude to on social media and frankly it’s more beautiful than any perfectly curated page ( even though admittedly, I love a well curated IG). I mentioned #WUW in my last blog post as an attempt for me to start new things and to be honest, it’s so much more than just that. It feels as if the internet is full of a whole lot of nothing at times, specifically social media. We are constantly being run over by over-stimulation and very little genuine connection or content. We see a lot of what looks great with very little or absolutely no substance behind it and we become accustomed to the standard of no standard. I started vlogging and blogging because I wanted to engage in conversations that matter, I wanted to be a part of a more honest story.
The fact remains that there are times when I am either not interested in, or I’m terrible at being vulnerable in certain areas in my life (or at least in my past experience) and yet I find myself stepping out of my comfy private box every morning, because I want to create a culture of change not solely within myself, but in general. We, essentially, exist within ‘delusions of grandeur’, that is, we create a beautiful life where we share the illusion of perfection yet run tirelessly from our reality or facing the parts of ourselves that need to be tweaked. Alternatively, some of us share way too much and regret it in the way in which one regrets drunk texting an ex they should never have been with in the first place.
As a result of what I had been seeing I felt an inkling to say more and share more in a way thats quick and easy to swallow. Here began my morning VLOGS. I began recording sans makeup or editing and I actually, more often that not, seek to speak from a place of visual and psychological honesty and nakedness. Down to leaving my hair uncombed, I just want what I put out there, or at least this element of it, to remind people that it’s okay to be who they are, regardless of what that may be. That we do not wake up looking like beauty and style gurus and that we all eat, sleep …etc etc like any other human being no matter how perfect, successful or accomplished we may appear to be.
Let’s be honest, we have skin imperfections, we have character flaws, we have good days and also bad days, yet so many of us are hell bent on creating a visual based so heavily on perfection that I think sometimes we forget what the real world is. So in a world where we are constantly bombarded by shallow interpretations of culture, character and worth, here are a few things I’d love for us all to remember…
- Its not magic it’s an illusion – What often appears pretty could just be shot in the ‘right light’, let me explain. Things look better when you project only the beautiful parts of what you want people to see and often we compare our lives to that. Even if you don’t do it everyday you’ve done it. We’ve all done it and there’s no need. All that glitters might just be glitter and not actual gold.
- Maybe we need to redefine “gold”. Its almost as if human beings are captivated by what’s not natural. We are often embarassed by what we all have in common and don’t admit until someone is brave enough to step up and share the truth. Maybe the real gold is the gritand the fact that what genuinely draws us together is sometimes that which has brought us to our knees shows us that perhaps the struggle and the mess are actually more priceless than we notice and also more common.
- Truly successful relationships aren’t always aesthetically pleasing, in fact arguments and difficult conversations are pretty ugly and tend to have the potential to bring out the worst in us. A healthy argument every now and then is normal and just because you don’t see people projecting such ‘dissatisfying’ imagery really doesn’t make it any less natural, normal or even healthy. Stop comparing your movie to a still life.
- A lot of people will go broke to create an illusion of wealth instead of actually building so as to create actual comfort and stability. Build instead of boasting. Be the real deal
- Figure out who you are for you before you match yourself up next to a timeline.
- Posting cute quotes on the internet are nice but being horrible in real life won’t add up. We are all imperfect and we all have off days or moments where we won’t flourish or thrive like we would like to, however nobody likes grimy energy in their space or to be extremely inspired and come to find out that the inspiration source is actually unsavory so be a good person as much as you can.
- No ne has it all together all the time. Be understanding.
- Everyone isn’t out to be “impressive” – Some people are just truly putting what they love out there with out actually seeking fame. Some are just projecting their passion and though it may bring fame that may not be their interest.
- Timelines are just that , things that have occurred over time – try not to feel pressured to have it all right now when most things of value haven’t occurred in the 30 seconds it took you to scroll but rather, over a period of time.
- Let go of ideals and stay true to your standards. – When we see things repeatedly they begin to feel like the norm, and some things should never become a norm. Stick to what you know to be right and good.
- Don’t assume you know everything about a human being because you follow them on a social platform. Even our friends and parents keep secrets. We all edit ourselves to some extent in certain areas of life so don’t assume you truly know anyone who you haven’t actually taken the time to connect with and get to know.
- Make sure you enjoy your actual life just as much as you enjoy scrolling.
- Put down your phone and read a book you might like it.
Nothing counterfeit could ever compare to that which is real and true. So don’t be disillusioned by the hype. Don’t feel the pressure to share all of who you are or any for that matter and continue to be true to you. Above all else , the relationship and honesty that we have with our own self is the foundation upon which all else flows with others. While some create an illusion be sure to marvel and appreciate your reality because it might just be more golden than you may think. Things often look much better from the outside – let’s let go and live. Start a conversation that matters.
Special Thanks to Justin Newton for shooting this story.