Selfdom 101 – Set Fire To Stigma


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I have been so thought filled lately. Trying to understand life is no small feat and I’ve given up trying to figure it all out at once and instead, taking it as it comes and seeking to do my best to adapt gracefully. In doing so, many concepts have floated through my mind and one which stands out is things I would say to my daughter or younger self if I could. (sidetone I have no plans of having a daughter lol, I’d much prefer sons).Essentially, things no-one told me or concepts that I clearly forgot along the way.

Coincidentally, it is this shoot that really inspired me to write this. I’m always scared you see, to bare my body because I’m so consumed with people valuing my mind and soul before my physical elements. I never wanted to be a woman or even a girl with no substance and as a result I’ve often shied away from certain things for fear that I might be defined negatively by them. In an effort to face my fears, I unearthed a few tidbits that we should all remember.


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Being sexy doesn’t take away from your character.

Don’t allow this world to make you think that true beauty and brains can’t go together they can and so can being sexy. We all have a side of us that may be a little raunchier than our other elements and thats absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. You are a complete being and don’t you ever forget that or be ashamed of it. The right people will understand the entire picture.

A man (or woman) should NEVER define you.

A relationship can be an interesting thing. We can sometimes find ourselves becoming too caught up or reliant on our significant other, in trying to be a good spouse sometimes we loose what makes us most beautiful, that being, our individuality.

In short, you define yourself first, come to a relationship as an entire human being, a whole soul and don’t seek completion in partner before you have first understood it within yourself to the best of your ability at your different stages in life.


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Opinions will hurt sometimes, Listen, Assess and Let Go if need be.

Understanding things about ourselves we do not want to admit to ourselves, is horribly difficult and hearing them from outside sources can be a bit of a heartbreaking nightmare at times, nonetheless take each moment that can be teachable and learn from it. On the flip side however, remember that a lot of empty vessels make loud noise. Don’t believe everything people tell you, before you take it to heart analyze and assess the validity of what you have been told. Use your brain before you let all your emotions take you over.

Stand Firm in Your Beliefs

Even if someone thinks you a fool simply because they may not understand you, don’t give up or run away with your tail between your legs! Stand firm if you truly believe in something and hey if you’re wrong be gracious and humble and see it as a learning curve. You don’t have to crumble under pressure. Being wrong isn’t a sin and learning is a gift.

Fail forward Fall forward.


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Be Single for a While

Learn yourself. You have so much within you to offer and sometimes the reason we do not know that is because we haven’t spent much time with ourselves. We have invested all of our time in others and in distractions and if only we took the time out to know our own selves e would actually see how worthy we are and how valuable we are how much we truly deserve. Time alone is time well spent and good preparation for company. Intimacy begins with yourself.


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Lastly, remember these 3 things

You Are Enough. Be You Unapologetically. Live the Life You Truly Desire.



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Be sure to check out Selfdom101 here. I am really loving their aesthetic at the moment.

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