The Magic of Meditation – For Non Hippies & Hippies Alike.

 

I began to recognise recently how important simply living in the present is. I found myself consumed with worries about the past and thoughts of not so positive what ifs for the future. Essentially, through my meditation practice I began to realise how much over-thinking truly does not serve us well as human beings. The nature of this mindless practice isn’t healthy for us and it manifests in the psychological as well as the physical.

The question for me became how does one break this practice when, they’ve been an over thinker for just as long as they could  could remember? As a teenager I can recall wanting to sleep but my mind was always so busy that I would end up staying awake, chatting to a friend on the phone or writing as a means to distract or counteract my over-worked mind. The day  I found meditation was the day my life began to change, of course I wasn’t consistent at all and the results weren’t either. Recently, However (the past 2 years) I have been practicing my meditation more often. I have dipped and dabbled between different philosophies of meditation and I am yet to touch some, what this practice has done for me is beautiful and of course I am going to share it with you my lovely readers.

So without a doubt this has been a season of great change in my life- jobs, relationships, scheduling, habits- so many things have evolved, been done away with or simply changed from what they were before. Loads of change can mean loads of anxiety and I was incredibly anxious as these changes kept happening. I kept asking myself if I was making mistakes? If I was acting out of fear or genuine desire for improvement? If I was being overly emotional or rational… and the list of questions went on and on. Eventually I remembered the value of silence and the fact that we can find our best and deepest, most honest answers when we simply stop and stand still. You may ask how can someone who clearly thinks about all kinds of things way too much master meditation? The answer is practice. So I embarked on practicing more and more. I wasn’t afraid to start small first with 5 minute sessions and now Im up 30 glorious minutes on my better days.

Within my silence and stillness I began to realise almost effortlessly but over time that a lot of my worries and anxiety were so deeply rooted in either things from my past or things that were yet to occur and in fact, might never occur. I began to take a step back and look more deeply into the value of actively meditating on and letting go of a few things because the fact is I can’t control the future nor can I change the past. I can only really change my perspective and/or perception and thus my attitude towards the task/emotion at hand. Of the things I sought and seek to give up, these are a few:

-Judging myself based on the past.

-Worrying about all I was scared I would not achieve in my future.

-Worrying way too much about what people may think.

-Succumbing to perfectionism (and clearly forgetting that I am human).

In essence I  was always in my head about everything. Though I am yet to master many things. I must admit that I have noticed myself thinking differently and it’s something I’m very thankful for. Though I do feel bad and at times I get disappointed I do not linger on things in the way in which I used to and  I am learning day by day, more and more the importance of trusting one’s journey – something many of us chat about but rarely actively seek to do. At different stages of our lives this tends to mean manifest in different ways and as with everything, some stages are tougher than others.

… And speaking of manifestations I have also learnt a bit more about the power of thought and having some level of control over the mind. You see what we think is what we become, often without even noticing. The beauty of this is that, what we actively think about and meditate on is also what we manifest. The beauty of practicing something is that we get better at it – while I am sure you probably see where I am going with this let me break it down for you.

– Shift your focus! Use your mind for good. Use your thoughts to focus on actively seeking to achieve that which you truly want to manifest. Allow yourself to get in the habit of a process of thought that serves you well and resonates on the positive end of things. Believe in yourself and forgive yourself and others for things of the past, we cannot reverse history so there is little to no sense in latching on to spilt milk. Let go and I repeat let go of negative self talk … you know the type, ” I hate my …”, “Why couldn’t I have more…?”, “I am so silly”, “Nobody will ever want me because …”,” I’ll never be able to get … point.”  If you don’t like something seek to change it and then … actually change it. You actually do possess the power to change your reality and it lies within your mind and your actions which follow. –

We get so hell bent on so many things in life which have no longevity and really don’t do much for us or those around us. So I challenge each of you to do a little bit of “nothing” which ironically, can change everything.

Click here, here, and if you’re ready for the big fish, here, for a few links which might help as you get started on your personal meditation practice and if you feel like you can do it on your own here are my simple  top 5 tips to start a healthy “Medi-Moment”.

1. Find a quiet comfortable space where you can be unbothered for the allotted time.
2. Sit with good posture or lay down in a comfortable position.
3. Do not beat yourself up as thoughts race through your mind this is natural and it will dissipate over time.
4. Breathe.
5. Be open to finding the type of meditation that suits you as an individual. Be unafraid to explore and find your perfect fit. Meditation is like a good pair of jeans … everything ain’t for everybody.

 

Special Thanks to MPeople Magazine for featuring me and the blog in their most recent issue be sure to grab yourself  a copy for more of the beautiful images shot by the uber talented Khalil Goodman. Though the shoot was styled by me, InterMIX Boutique was kind enough to supply this look and the ever amazing Tennille Griffith did a stellar job on my face if I may say so humbly. Special thank you’s to all involved. Wishing all my readers  a lovely weekend and here’s to a life full of mindfulness, meditation and miraculous manifestations.

No Junk In This Trunk! – The Island Bag Trunk Show.

A warm Saturday evening with lots of beautiful treasures to be found! The Island Bags by Lilian Russell Trunk Show was the perfect way to close out my Saturday evening.The Lone Star Restaurant served as a fitting back drop for this eclectic mix of bags, jewellery and clothing and let’s just say the ladies who came out had no reason to be disappointed. Island Bags have long been an easy and convenient choice of mine. They are lightweight, spacious, washable, and that simple tassels detail ads an element of elegance. They are easy to dress up or to wear with denim or even a bikini – so when I heard that the brand was expanding I was excited to see what they had to offer.

True to form, they brought out a selection of pieces that are both aesthetically appealing and yet practical. Breathable fabrics make them great for tropical climates and yet easy to layer if you’re going to need to bundle up.

 

 

The aesthetic of the evening was all about tassels, stripes and tribal influences accompanied by delicate yet chunky jewels that work as the perfect statement pieces against voluminous cotton blouses or the brand’s meticulously adorned kaftans. The stripe clutch above was one of my favourites of the evening and I almost stole Esther’s top right of her! (as seen below) I can’t wait to see what the future holds for this brand and to get my hands on this gorgeous top… I already know how I am wearing it.

Special Thanks to Esther Lussan (the leading lady behind Island Bags) and her team for inviting me to their delightful event – Twas my pleasure.

To experience more from this brand check them out here and here.

A Brown Girl’s Freelancing Mind

West Indian culture and folklore has  long fascinated me. For this shoot we drove through former plantation land in Barbados and took in the beauty of nature. 

It was impromptu but I’m a walking closet it seems so I used what I  had to create an ensemble reminiscent of folkloric and cultural characters  such as “Laja Bless” and “Tan Tan” , both well known Caribbean concepts. Ironically, the more sinister folklore scared me so much as  a child but perhaps these stories are a part of us all because the look felt rather effortless.

This was a reminder of the peace that nature brings. It inspired  memories about the innocence of childhood as well as the curiosity that illuminates youth.
I often get so lost in the day to day that balance can be a great challenge for me. In fact I wonder if balance exists for most of us. However there are moments that gently force us to consider the simple things and of course, the pure joy they afford us.

What today taught me was that sometimes a long drive in a different place can be a simple and yet magnificent thing. A necessary thing… that I too often ignore.

Remember… Sometimes there is nothing more beautiful  than the breakdown. I’m not referring to falling apart but rather to stepping away.
Some time in a beautiful place can just mean exploring the path we often forget is there to be taken or driving there road we never took before.

Have the week of your dreams .

Alicia Hartman – What’s her EyeQ?

 

Quirky, chic, maternal, stylish and yet definitely business savvy. Meet Alicia Hartman. She’s created a cult following by curating a space for fashion forward brands such as Dita, Linda Farrow, and Mykita Eyewear just to name a few. She throws some of what might be considered the best sip and shop events in Barbados and most of all she lives life and has fun. This eclectic ingenue is the conservator behind EyeQ Stylist Opticians, a non traditional Optometry boutique located on Barbados’ luxurious West Coast.

 

Alicia Tiffany Hartman was born in Guyana and comes from a rather interesting cultural background. Her lineage is just about as colourful and varied as her wardrobe -Dutch, Portuguese, Amerindian and African are just a taste of her flavours. She was raised by strong hard working parents who’s artistic elements and strong work ethic run through her veins. Like many women her grandmother is her reminder to stay grounded while her optometrist aunt and husband and restaurateur Saman Golesorkhi were the main influences and inspiration for her to provide optimal eye care with a difference. Consequently, Saman encouraged Alicia to bring her vision into reality and together they have built businesses with a difference that are proving to stand the test of time. Among those businesses are, Lemongrass Restaurant and Food truck, the latter can be found on the south coast and the former on the west with it’s sister eatery Pepenero ( I recommend the mussels from Pepenero and the Yaki Ramen from Lemongrass) and of course the ever sophisticated EyeQ Stylist Opticians Boutique. Alicia simply couldn’t have imagined herself being a run of the mill optometrist and as such, she sought to create not only a vision, but a reality all her own. She knew it was crucial to offer the best care in a space where she could truly express herself.

 

Alicia displays the details of her “Monday” look.

Fitting my anti glare Tom Forde frames so I’m photo ready. Such a great feature!

Her approach to style is both effortless and eye-catching as she mixes masculine and feminine elements with a natural precision. What do I love most about this fashionistas sense of style? She blends minimal and basic pieces ranging from soft to bold fluid tones and textiles,while throwing in understated statement elements. Alicia never looks over-done, in fact, her look is always balanced and form flattering to her physique. Whether she’s wearing a multi coloured kimono with brogues, a bright shift dress or even a cocoon shaped number with chunky heels, she brings a certain je ne sais quoi to each look and frankly it’s easy to admire her. As attractive as her fashion sense is, a woman isn’t really a woman without some element of substance beyond the surface “stuff” and that’s where her personal mantras come into play.

 

Alicia understands that joy and happiness are things built on the inside. Her advice to other women is to remember that we must find joy in ourselves first because outside sources of happiness often deplete themselves quickly. This happily married lady understands the value of marriage and building a solid union, however, what’s even more beautiful is that she also has a deep appreciation for coming to a relationship as an individual and not the half of what should be a whole.

It was rather inspiring to watch her reflect on how much being a mother means to her and admitting that being a style savvy business maven isn’t always as easy as it may appear on the outside. She reminds us gracefully that it’s okay to feel guilty sometimes while we are trying to build the best possible life for our family as well as ourselves, however she is also quick to remind us to get on with it because life is dynamic and it seems Alicia might be even more of a multi task guru than she’s realised.

She and her husband have created a number of enjoyable experiences over the years, not just the boutique,the food truck or restaurants but also, amazing party events and 2  handsome sons. I think it’s safe to say she and her support system might have mastered life just a tad more than they noticed. “ It’s never easy” she says when you want anything out of life that’s worthwhile and if looking in on her life has taught me anything it’s that even if the work is challenging stick with it because diligence makes it worth it. She reminds us that women can have it all and maybe even all at the same time if they just go with the flow.

 

This gal has got a whole lot going for her – incredible mother, empowered yet supportive wife, phenomenal business woman and the definition of what a modern lady is really made of – i.e. sugar, spice … and whatever else she decides makes her life fantastic. My fave elements of her personality are her quirky and fun loving nature ( she knows how to get a party started. I assure you she’s got it covered!), her individuality, and her “human-ness”. Sometimes we observe women who seem in some ways like superheroes and we often miss the beauty behind their smile or passion their eyes, seeing Alicia get everything done day to day might allow you to carelessly bypass these qualities in her but I can assure you her vulnerability is probably the most beautiful and ironically strong thing about her. While other women are trying to be perfect she is trying simply to be her and who better to be but ourselves.  In being herself, she has grasped that family is most important, and for her, it comes first period. She has a devout appreciation for the path her parents would have paved for her and she doesn’t forget how hard she or they have worked to get where they are. She doesn’t seem to take things for granted, Alicia fathoms both the value a serious moment and a hearty laugh. The secret to her balance is probably that she is always seeking to be present in the moment so she can consistently give of her best no matter what direction life may tug her in.

 

Fun Facts about Alicia

-What’s in her bag?- Her trusty Russian Red Matte Lipstick by M.A.C., iPHONE of course sunglasses, because we ladies must protect our eyes.

-This summer she recommend these top trends – Rose Gold Eyewear, Matte Finished side shields and a round silhouette. If you find all three in one look you might just have nailed it!
-Beauty Must Have’s – Red Lipstick and eyeliner on a good day.

-What’s Next? Designing her own eyewear with West Indian bone structure in mind and don’t we deserve the perfect frame just for us ?!

 

Special Thanks Alicia for taking a moment out to share with us and to Christina from Eye Q for capturing some of these shots. Be sure to pop by the boutique I promise you’ll enjoy it!

Check her out on Instagram here and the boutique here.

Check me out on Instagram here.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower – Top 3 Underrated perks of being single.

Some of us have never been single, never lived alone and have very little idea of what it means to take the time to get to know ourselves. Chances are being lonely or even simply alone isn’t really on the top of our to-do list and a lot of us would rather be otherwise occupied with some other human being rather than dealing with the ins and outs of ourselves. So why does being single really make sense for at least a season in your life ? Read on to find out … oh yeah and to see how a sweat suit doesn’t need to to be at all trashy and can easily go from day to night for a casual evening out and also a casual day of shopping or whatever you might like to spend your days doing.

 

I went through a stage a couple years ago where I suddenly and almost mysteriously desired deeply to be married with kids and a white picket fence, okay maybe not exactly a white picket fence but I am sure you get the drift I began to desire a very different existence than I had ever longed for as a result of my insatiable longing I made some mistakes that taught me a whole lot to say the least. Don’t get me wrong I love companionship and I am in fact a huge supporter of a good union but I have learnt that being single for a while matters. Here’s why …

Rebound Rehab

If you have been in relationships since your teens and you’re now in your late 20’s or 30’s and you still don’t feel like you have found “The One” then maybe it makes sense to stop rushing through and perhaps even into relationships and take a minute to build a new kind of relationship with yourself. One where you not only take time to get over the last one before moving on to the next one and give yourself time to heal, grow and understand where you now stand after the now defunct union, but also where you get to know yourself and how you have evolved , what you now like and don’t like what you prefer and what you certainly are not willing to put up with. A lot of times we are so busy trying to distract ourselves from the heartache that we don’t seem to take the necessary time to heal. Don’t be embarrassed we’ve all done it that’s why its infamously known as the “rebound relationship”.

 

F.L.Y

Spending time with yourself and actually genuinely being content with it is healthy and frankly, beautiful. Consequently you probably will not be needy which often doesn’t represent balance in a relationship and you will have a better sense of knowing that you actually want to spend time getting to know this new person when they do come along because you aren’t seeking company because you are afraid of being alone but because you are truly ready for that next step. You are acting by choice and not out of fear or force. This may sound harsh and hey, perhaps it is, nonetheless the truth seems to be that when we just fear being alone we will find ourselves in a relationship or sometimes a slew of relationships that aren’t really compatible for us and if it’s really bad that could be very detrimental. I don’t think that a person who is in a good place really wants someone who is needy or who desperately needs attention I think a healthy relationship and person incorporates a good sense of security confidence and thus loyalty and trust. You gotta be okay with you first as a good friend of mine once said … F.irst L.ove Y.ourself and then somehow bit by bit things seem to come into place. Think about it is your own company really that bad? I mean does it really suck that much to hang out with yourself? If it does then tell me who else is going to want to spend hours upon hours with you? … If it sucks that much still spend time with you and work on you because you deserve an honest, loyal, compatible and above all things happy union.

 

You Deserve Diamonds Baby!

If you want the real deal you gotta give up all of the things that are holding you back … and sometimes that means letting go of people. You know what I mean … the ex you always go back to but you know deep in your heart and mind that you don’t want to be with them they are just your human version of a comfort food or maybe you’re even addicted to what you think they might possibly bring to the table even if you know it’s not good for you and in some cases you aren’t good for them either. Maybe it isn’t a specific person but rather a type of person. You like bad boys and you’re a good girl but you just can’t get enough …. and maybe they really aren’t good for you, but if you keep filling your life with them then what sense does it make to keep praying or asking the universe for more or what you consider better? Bluntly and lovingly put if you want better then be willing to purge your life and self of that which you don’t want create the space for what truly matters to you … this will mean letting go of some of those bad people habits. (not that they are bad people, because we are all imperfect and we all have a story,  I mean your bad habits regarding people.) Stop allowing yourself to settle for tinfoil when you know you really want and deserve diamonds.

Free and Single … Love to Mingle 

I’ve been single for a while now by choice, not that I haven’t met some great people in between but for this season of life I wanted to refine myself so that if and/or when life leads me to a place of marriage and my own little or big family I will be the best woman I could possibly have been up until that point. I seek daily to be a lady who will be able to support and uplift my husband and to be a great role model for my kids, not because I seek perfection per se, but based on things such as integrity, confidence, kindness, discipline etc etc etc which are elements that I revere. I  looked at myself after my last union and I valued and still value so dearly how much it taught me and also I noticed that there were a lot of parts of me that I wasn’t a fan of. There were so many things I became which I didn’t like, as a result it takes time to get to understand how those elements of me came about.  It was a whole new journey with myself and  consequently it forced me to revisit some pretty wise mantras I developed and practiced in my teens. My single journey has done me well and it feels really good to find simple joys in my alone time. Relationships are beautiful and they are even more beautiful when we seek firstly to have a healthy and happy one with ourselves. How can we bring anything to the table when we don’t even know what is on the tray?

 

The Look

Now for some light hearted fun stuff. I had been admiring these sweatsuits for a while I love the mix of street style and the slight spoof of the high end labels as it relates to the current trend of wearable sports wear. The reality is I don’t think my life is ver when I start wearing sweatpants, I just think you have to know how to wear them the right way. I have always loved a touch of androgyny in my style palette  and this suit was the perfect feel for my version of tomboy chic! It’s both slouchy and comfy yet somehow feels tailored just for me which is a great feeling. I love comfortable clothing and this was definitely ranking high on the comfort list. i can see this is a piece that I will be wearing for years to come both as a suit and mixing the top and the bottom with everything in my closet from tailored white tuxedo shirt and pumps to mom jeans and minis. Nothing feels as good as a completely satisfying purchase … frankly I would love to have this in every colour!

Outfit Details

“Ballinciaga Harlem” Sweat Suit – Forever Young Boutique

Nude Faux Python Flats – Zara

Bag – Pulze

Glasses – Retro Super Future from Eye Q Stylist Opticians

Pink Heels – Envy Style Boutique

Remember it’s not what you wear but how you wear it.

Get The Look for Less

Some women like diamonds. Some women like wealth. I like substance … and style of course! I’ve been asked time and time again to talk about personal style so before I do that I’ll say this. Style isn’t just about how you feel on the outside it is also about how you feel on the inside. Sometimes one influences the other. Whatever you wear whatever your style aesthetic might be remember that you are so much more than you ideal image. Don’t wait for tomorrow to wear the clothes you love. Don’t wait till you loose all the weight or gain the extra pounds in all the perfect places- Have fun now and yes maybe everything won’t suit you and naturally there will be some definite faux pas that we should all stay away from but essentially do not put off for tomorrow the fabulousness that you can create today.

As Human beings we are hardly ever satisfied with some element or another in our image and in general in our lives but the reality is there is beauty in celebrating what you do have instead of focusing on what you might not quite have achieved yet. You may have beautiful skin but you’re so focused on your tummy pouch or skinny arms that you don’t notice. You might have a Colgate ad worthy smile but you’d rather stare at your stretch marks, my advice is, maximise the positive and watch how subdued the negative becomes.

In other news on maximising- Im all abut maximising your wardrobe and saving money but still looking absolutely incredible. I incorporated this beautiful suede Asos dress into three different looks by simply using my imagination, I mean who said a dress could only ever be dress. I had a big vision for this piece in my mind’s eye I saw it as a coat a dress and a piece of sportswear. Reworking pieces in your wardrobe is a great way to save and fatten your bank account and it gives your brain a little fun exercise don’t be afraid to try new things with old pieces. There is always a new look waiting for you in your closet.

Here are my top 5 keys to reworking your wardrobe and taking it from boring to striking.

• Belts can add a different feel to fuller silhouettes and are an inexpensive investment.
• Step outside the box- Shirts can become skirts and shirts are sometimes beautiful dresses.
• Don’t underestimate the power  of your coif – Sleek hair can take a simple look into a classy ensemble in no time throw on some pearls or diamonds … or whatever dainty little piece you have with some heels and watch a simple piece become a classic statement.
• Finding a great seamstress or tailor who can alter older pieces into newer silhouettes is always a good idea. A great fit is key.
• Scour the internet for inspo. Feel free to check out my Pinterest I love to collect folders full of different looks and keep my mind open to new concepts for clothes I probably already own.

Step outside the box and step a little more into you!

Ciao!

 

A Year In Review – The Gigi Chronicles

Twenty sixteen, is that you playa, coming across the Himalayas?

I’m just kidding guys, it seems like the New Year is only hours away. I know I know , you’re probably over hearing about advice for  the new year and tips and tricks for the new year but the fact remains that this year I got sentimental, I learnt way more than I could have anticipated and in the most of it all my team and I created imagery that will always warm my heart. We are ready for the New Year but before we go here are some of my fave moments and some of what I learned from 2015.

• Love won’t Break You – I can safely say that in 2015 I was ready for some major changes. I’d learnt a lot about the kind of love I  wanted to be a part of in 2014. I learnt what I wanted and what I  didn’t want. I realised more than I  knew prior that love was not always easy but there is a difference between healthy relationships and unhealthy relationship. That respect is paramount. Truth doesn’t not always need to be razor sharp. Compromise is key. Give it a good go but know when to walk away.
• Growth is my happy place – The point came where I  genuinely felt stagnant. I kept fantasising about not just being a creative anymore but also reigniting my flame of academia. Some asked why, while others professed to me about who they thought I was. A limited perception to say the least. That said I’d like to say this. Follow your dreams even if you feel stagnant keep on keeping on. Pray on what you want most. Meditate on it. Dream and fantasise about the life you want. After doing all the whimsical things, apply for the job or the school or the Masters programme, whatever it is just please do it because your life in your own and it deserves to be lived fully.

• Mastering My Emotions – Wow being a woman really sucks sometimes! I learnt that I will get older, hormones sadly will change and as a result, I got less patient than I had ever known myself to be in many ways. Thankfully by some small or perhaps, colossal miracle, I began to understand that some emotions are temporary and I  no longer need to beat myself up on the days I feel at my lowest. I also learnt this – Thoughts are concepts and all of them are not real. Feelings of inadequacy and notions of prophetic fallacy or just that … concepts and notions. You define you. You make your own choices and I urge you to trust yourself to know that just as you had the presence of mind to choose, you have the presence of mind to choose again if need be and change your reality into something closer to what you were aiming for.

• Allow for the positives to override and flatten the negatives – I am not saying it’s not healthy to feel hurt or to be let down etc. I believe, in fact that pain and sadness are natural elements in this thing we call life. Being addicted however to misery, heartache, mediocrity and the list could go on and on, are not! Remember, however,  what a man thinks of himself is what he becomes, thus one could say I really bean to understand the importance of being mindful. I learnt that I  was very unkind to myself along the way. In my quest for excellence I was a bully to myself. The way I spoke to me was not a way I would ever want to address anyone else, yet without even noticing initially, I was beating myself down like nobody’s business.Why this is even worse is that it began to seep into other areas in my life. Negative thoughts are like parasites they find they feed they deplete they move on. I learnt that kindness starts with one’s self and continues like a flowing fountain on to others.

• Fail Fast and Fail Forward – I had some major failures over the years. it wasn’t just a career thing this has ben familial, emotional, spiritual and romantically. I’ve learnt that it’s okay to fail and move on and try again. It may sound crazy but the fact is  I didn’t understand failure at all. It was happening to me and I was in denial. I didn’t realise how much I hated failing and it was only in my realisation of this that I recognised how my quest for perfection was actually holding me back. It was holding me back in the sense that I was to scared of both my greatness and my mess. I now know that messes can be cleaned up and if I just do it I may not make a mess at all. In fact I might just create a masterpiece. I have a feeling the same may apply for you.

• The Hope Factor – This year has really brought me some incredible surprises in the form of both people and opportunities. I remember my first heartbreak as a teenage girl. I was so dramatic, that frankly as I recall it all I can do is laugh. I didn’t understand how I’d ever meet someone else better than that boy of my dreams and them a few months later I did and he was old news. We forget this. As we get older we forget loneliness and what it means to trust in something greater than us. At 25 I found myself deeply in love with parts of a person and parts of who I thought they were. As life carried on we had become so close that i really didn’t feel like starting over. I couldn’t picture anyone better than him for me. The ting is there’s always something… someone you didn’t plan for. Life and some might say God has a funny way of preparing you for what’s best for you not simply what our mere mortal minds think we want. I can safely say that my 17 year old self had no clue what I would want as a woman for the most part. Please remember that if you are in a union that is depleting to your soul, that you can start over. You deserve happiness. The reality is you don’t know who’s waiting for you around the corner. We often hold on to the comfort of what we know when all we need is right there waiting for us.

• Take your Time – If you know me or ever worked with me you know I’m always talking about ‘efficiency and haste’. I like to get it done well and fast. The thing is good things take time and patience. It’s that simple, sorry but this lesson  isn’t going to be a mini thesis. The best things take time. Be prepared to sometimes have to take the long route to get to the great destination.

• Be Humanly Beautiful – I stopped sharing candidly for a while. I was more honest with my internet audience than I was with people in real conversations. I had become a bit scared of being myself. The thing about me is that even when scared it’s her for me not to be who I am. I’m not sure why but I just know this to be true. I had become self conscious and very unhappy with many elements of who i thought I had become for various reasons. Enter the reality of the beauty of being vulnerable. As human beings we will laugh and we  will cry. Is this not the epitome of balance? We want a sweet life 24/7 but we don’t realise that what we think is life burying us is sometimes life planting us, giving us deep roots so we can be comparable to a sycamore rather than a weed. Which grows faster? The kinds of people you will want in your inner circle will be the ones who take you at your best and your worst. The kind of life partner you want will be he or she who sees all of you ad wants it all even the parts you despise and the ones they don’t rejoice about. Be you in all of your imperfect glory!

• Compassion – If you follow my #WakeUpToWisdom you have probably seen me mention The Compassion Concept a whole lot. Here is my simple reason as to why. The more I  came to grips with my flaws the more compassionate I sought to become. We are all doing our best.You may not understand my best. I may not move in your time. You may be doing all you can and I still think of you as lazy or incompetent or some thing I probably have no right to be judging you for but don’t worry about the opinions. Focus on the goal you will get there. In the meantime be compassionate because so many are trying to be resilient in ways we know nothing of.

• Challenge Yourself – Sure we could stay the same but that can be incredibly boring. Core values and character based attributes aside always always seek to endeavour to do the things you thought you could not do. There is nothing like achieving what we once thought to be impossible.

• Have Fun – I’m a pretty serious chic at times. I argue passionately for that which I believe in, I sound like a small politician at times. I always have and perhaps a part of me always will but after you get serious and intense and focused and driven and so on and so forth please remember that joy is essential to thriving in this life. Enjoy yourself along the way. Laugh, sing, dance in your room naked. Do the things that just make you feel good. Life is short it makes sense to make the most of it. If you happen to be blessed with a long life I imagine joy still plays a major role. Live a little laugh a lot.
• Give Thanks in Everything.

Au Revoir 2015… Bienvenidos 2016!

Your How To Guide to Handling a Stressful Week

 

Ever feel as though you’re being tested? Sometimes life occurs in such a way that you feel as if you are experiencing test after test after test. In these moments life might just be teaching us next level patience. Instead of feeling caught up with the situation face it like a boss and instead of letting situations rule you seek to move beyond them. I fought with myself about sharing this post because I like to inspire and create a space for positivity. I thought of all the things I could write as it related perhaps to style instead of “substance”. I felt like i was being mean but alas, this is real life and I had to share. The reality of tests of patience kept reoccurring this week and it was a valuable lesson or perhaps I should  say there were some priceless lessons to be learnt and naturally shared. While positivity is real so is being human and it’s not always easy to be Little Miss Optimism when you yourself feel like you might lose it. So What do you do when you are having what feels like the week from hell?

 

 

The Stressful Soul

Ever experience someone who is clearly going through a whole lot in life and thinks that taking it out on you might be the cure to all their problems? It feels so easy to just give people a piece of your mind but sometimes this doesn’t make sense, in fact I dare to say that maybe more often than not this does not make sense. Sometimes people’s circumstance is bigger than they feel a though they are and in their roughest moments, where they may inevitably treat you horribly, it makes no sense to fight fire with fire. Step away for a second either physically or or taking a moment “away” in your mind. Remind yourself that this person could be going through far more than you could imagine although this is not an excuse for rudeness try to recognise that perhaps they are not a their most rational season in life and be compassionate as opposed to combative. Your kindness might be the nicest thing they had all week and while you may not feel appreciated they are probably so thankful that you are there to assist them with whatever they may have needed.

The Know It All

We’ve all met one. Hey maybe we are one but there is always that one person who swears they knew before you could even decipher in your own mind what you wanted to communicate. You just have to employ a good ole ” Breath n’ Stop” to these smartypants. You may be asking yourself what is a ” Breath n’ Stop” ? It’s that moment where you discreetly and repeatedly, take a deep breath hold for about 5 seconds, exhale slowly and allow your brain and by extension your mind, to recalibrate and bring yourself back into a space of coherent reasonable thoughts rather than the “I’m so over this agenda”. The deep breaths pump more oxygen into your body and allow your mind and nervous system to calm down at least a little bit which should in effect allow you to handle the situation a a tad more effectively than if you’re blood was boiling.

The Woe is Me

We all have issues yes I know and you know but we forget something. We don’t all know how to handle our issues some people revel in pity, I get it , but some people are truly trying their best and don’t even know when they are complaining or wallowing. While you may be over their pity party they may just be trying to stay afloat. Remember that all that glitter isn’t gold and sometimes ” The Woe is Me” character is really just trying to survive, much like any of us. Be a listening ear but don’t internalise their reality. Don’t go drowning in their oceans.

The Fix!

While I always recommend patience, compassion and reason in equal proportions where possible when dealing with anyone even yourself, sometimes it all get to be too much. I sought advice this week from a friend who happens to be a Stress Management Consultant (check her out here). I wanted to understand what her personal and professional take was on handling sticky situations. After a hefty convo I noticed that within her fixes existed something simple and yet fascinating. Routines! It struck me like an epiphany we take care of our bodies, we go to the gym we eat certain foods and buy certain products. We take care of our care, our homes and all kinds of things but we do not do much for our minds. So here is my take even though Im no doctor. Find a Rationality Routine to take care of your mind amidst the helter skelter that life can sometimes offer. Find a routine that works for you and makes you feel good. The day may offer anything so start your day with it or use it as your night cap. Your routine is entirely up to you. Here is a quick look at my Rationality Routine and how I try my best to start and end my days.

The Morning Moment

1. Prayer -I start my day thanking God for all he has provided me with and for guidance. Then I do a devotion or just meditate on what I feel I need to.
2. A glass of water – put something pure in your body before anything else.
3. Yoga or Stretching to get the blood flowing.
4. Update my #WakeUpToWisdom on my instagram and spread some love and positive vibes in the world.
5. Check email and make breakfast. I try not to check my email before I ease my mind into the day. ( That could be lethal lol … just kidding but take a minute to yourself before you ‘plug in’).
6. Get Dressed . Put on my feel good music in my car and drive to work!

 

The Night Cap

1. I hate to admit it but I love to unwind to  Pinterest . It makes me feel good and it’s always interesting and calming for the most part.
2. A nice shower and the perfect bed which I’m constantly upgrading in some form. My latest joys are linen or bamboo sheets.
3. Disconnect from the devices and connect with a good book. I’m currently reading Brand New The Shape of Brands to Come by Wally Olins.
4. Zzzzz

I hope this helps you this week and I’d love to hear how you guys handle your rough weeks in the comments below.

Dress – Vintage

Coat – Asos

Heels – Isabel Marant

Clutch – Vintage

Photographer – Khalil Goodman

Creative Direction – Me 🙂 and Israel Mapp

 

XoXo

Gigi

!

 

Are you Selling yourself Short?

“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”       Nelson Mandela

This particular post was inspired by women. We have some uncanny traits in common that can essentially hold us back in areas where we should be moving forward. We say sorry for things we did not do or that do not require an apology. We feel responsibility for things that we are not responsible for. We harbour unnecessary guilt and many of us, one might say far too many of us, have a bad habit of down playing who we are so as to accommodate other’s egos. We feel that dumbing it down in some areas fights against the glass ceiling  or stops us from being perceived as “bitches” especially those of us who would rather be valued as a lady. My reminder this week is completely dedicated to being all of you, kind of like the John Legend song but not really.

Let me explain. The belief exist that we are all created for a particular purpose and it is because of this that I had the epiphany that we have all got to stop “dumbing it down”.  Here are are some very realistic reasons as to why:

• People usually make up in their minds at a very early stage whether or not they like you. Do you want people to appreciate you for some overly censored version of who you used to be or for who you are at the core? If they can’t take you for you then maybe you shouldn’t be that concerned about them. Granted time and place count and we can’t just go around exhibiting all of who we are all the time , we both know that there is a difference between completely loosing yourself in the hopes of making everyone else feel more at ease and understanding appropriate behaviours .

• People’s views of you are often a reflection of their view of themselves. Sometimes you are simply the manifestation of all that person may want to be and though it is great to be humble you have to be aware that everyone does not process life in the same way. In no uncertain terms some people are jealous of you and you being nice or trying to appease them is probably not going to rid them of the ugly green monster. I am afraid that that is actually a matter for them to deal with and not for you.

• You might be too concerned with the wrong things. Ever heard that we ought to focus on that which we wish to achieve as opposed to focusing on what we do not want to achieve. What is your real desire … to be liked or to be a person of good character. A lot of times we find ourselves playing small because on a greater scale we want to be good people and we feel that minimising or capabilities will somehow assist in this particular desire. Here’s a newsflash for you my darlings, Being good isn’t always about being nice. Focus on being a person of good character and being reasonable, people will always have opinions it does not mean their opinions are always rational or hold truth.

• Ever realise how some people aren’t really that “nice” and people still love them? Perhaps its because they are authentic. When you are constantly trying to hide who we are, something probably won’t seem right. Why is that? Simply put, it’s because something isn’t right. We are not being us and we are not being honest. Certainly our dishonesty is not based in any malicious intent but it’s still not our truth.

We each have your individual purpose so why do we trying to hide behind a cloak to cushion the pain of another’s insecurity? While we hide ourselves we hinder and hurt ourselves also because it does not seem likely that any human could truly thrive while constantly playing a game of hide and seek with their own self. Selling yourself short is exhausting and unfair not just to you but also to others. You know how hard you have worked and you know what you are capable of there is no need to feel guilty about these things. We all have 24 hours in a day and we all, to an extent, have a chance to do whatever we see fit. This week do yourself and your company, family or whatever matters to you, a favour- DO YOU! You might just like it and hey they might even love it. I’d love to hear your thoughts and even more reasons why we shouldn’t sell ourselves short. Let’s chat in the comments below.

Photography – Adrian Richards

Dress- ASOS

Shoes – Metal Boutique

Cocktail Rings – Tropicana Jewellers

True Blue – Confessions of an Ambivert.

I engaged in an interesting conversation this week with a client where we were discussing what it means to be a social individual who isn’t always social. I simply explained to her that it is called being an ‘ambivert‘ and she consequently expressed that she had never heard of the term but loved it! I felt pretty much the same way when I discovered this perfectly descriptive word.

For as long as I can remember I have always appeared to a social butterfly but when I took a moment to look back on the reality I noticed something rather out of character for what we presume a social butterfly to truly be. I was raised mostly as an only child and I have always revelled in my personal space and solo time, which I must admit, really isn’t that social. I have spats of loathing for the overwhelm that hefty social interaction brings and in those moments I very quickly get to a point where ‘escape’ to the solitude of my solo Soul Space is necessary.

So I pondered on this for a few months and thought of a few things you need to understand if you are not an ambivert and ways to thrive if you are. The fact of the matter is if you are an ambivert some level of balance is going to need to be established so you can make sure you don’t feel overwhelmed and drained 24/7.

You  might wanna stop feeling guilty for saying no to going out all the time and for not being the social butterfly that you sometimes appear to be. It is perfectly fine to just be you and not the preconceived notion people my have of you. I used to have a really hard time saying no for many reasons. Subsequently one of those reasons is that I like to see people happy and thats okay but when I kept trying to be all things for all people I really became nothing much to me and that, obviously, was a problem. Essentially it’s crucial that you learn the magic of a simple, “Thank you, but no thank you.”

This next idea, is a big one because guilt can be a hell of a drug that we get hooked on without really noticing. Remember that you are not ruled by other’s perceptions and you do not need to feel guilty for doing what you want. Now hear me out, I am not saying to be selfish in fact I’m alluding to being quit the contrary. I’m saying do the things that feed your soul and clear your mind so that you can serve yourself and also so that you are better equipped to serve others. A broken down chair can not hold anyone else’s weight without deconstructing, even if, at a glance, that chair looks sturdy. If you feel like wilding out on a random Friday night go for it and if you feel like staying in do it. That’s your balance and it’s what allows you to stay productive and refill yourself when you feel overly drained. The beauty of an ambivert is their ability to fill up on their solo time as well as their social time depending on the moment, they’re multi- faceted and fuelled by engagement as well as introspection or good ole’ alone time.

My advice, however, to non ambivert personalities? Don’t be fooled or assume that ambiverts are not socially savvy because you might be highly mistaken. I actually think that most ambiverts are exceptionally  socially savvy if and when they need to be, they are not afraid of people they just don’t care to be consistently immersed in sea of social interaction. Respect their space and don’t try to pin them down to one area or another as they are tied to both so to speak. Accept differences and seek to understand them rather than to assume you have their personality covered because truth be told we never have anyone’s personality completely covered. Above all things be patient. Sometimes our introvert side takes over and understanding who we are can be difficult but give it some time, we usually open up when we see that your intentions and interest come from a genuine place.

And to my fellow ambiverts? Be patient with yourself too, my experience has shown me that we often grow into ambiversion more as we get older. Some of us actually were the epitome of social pros but have evolved over time. I am a big promoter of adaptability  as you’ve probably noticed if you saw my post on adaptation, and we are creatures of change, the two concepts go hand in hand.  Thus we must learn to be adaptable in order to thrive within our change and that has nothing to do with being an ambivert that’s a tidbit for just about everybody.

Special Thanks to Adrian Richards for being the latest guest photographer on the blog we had a grand ole time.

Harve Bernard Vintage Mini Dress

Blue Faux Leather Duffel Bag

Striped Tee (Adrian’s)

Pink Patent Chunky Monkey Heels

Vintage Chanel Scarf.